The Incredibly Futile Escape From A Werewolf
by DeathByMushrooms
Summary: Narcissa Black is possibly the most depressed person on the face of the Earth. Lucius, perverts, a huge crush on a guy out of her league, weirdos, odd professors, and falling in love with the least likely person possible. Full summary inside.
1. Thus The Odd Behavior Begins

Summary: Narcissa Black feels she's the most tortured soul on the face of the Earth. Dealing with perverted freaks like her cousin, Sirius, and his elite group of friends; wondering what's up with her young, odd Potions professor; trying to keep herself from asking Severus Snape what his problem is; warding off the Mister-Everything Lucius Malfoy; and keeping her eyes in her head around Laken Poff. What could be worse? Falling in love with a certain werewolf...  
  
~~~  
  
His hot breath was heavy on her neck. She could feel his knees pressing into her ribs. His feet scuffed the floor every few seconds.  
  
Perverts. She hated perverts. Perhaps that was why Potions with Professor Dillard was one of her least favorites, despite the fact that he was Head of Slytherin House. Such perverts as the one who wouldn't stop feeling her hair were the reason she slept an hour longer on Saturday mornings. This particular pervert, and his friends, were decidedly the worst things to happen to Hogwarts since the banning of the love potion.  
  
Today's Potions class was particularly aggravating because Lucius Malfoy kept shooting lustful looks at her, Sirius Black's eyes were boring into the back of her head, James Potter was pointing and laughing at Sirius, Peter Pettigrew was being thicker than usual, and Remus Lupin was drawing nonchalantly, grinning to himself when Sirius would lean forward and whisper 'sweet nothings' in her ear. Her life was a living Hell.  
  
Not that Lucius Malfoy was not a gorgeous, wealthy, cunning, clever Slytherin - because he was - it was more the fact that he was these things that bothered her. He could have anyone he wanted; he was worshipped by all girls who were even close to hitting puberty; hell, she wanted him - but that didn't change the fact that he was a player if there ever were any.  
  
As Black began to twirl her blonde hair around his index finger, Narcissa turned around. "Gawd, you're annoying!" she hissed, wrenching her hair away from him. This resulted in a minor explosion from Pettigrew, Lupin, and Potter.  
  
Black smirked. "Aww... cousin, don't you like me?" he said in a tone of mock-hurt. Another eruption of snickers from the other three.  
  
Narcissa raised her eyebrows at him in answer to his question. 'What a loser,' she thought. Some people - like Sirius Black - would never grow up.  
  
James Potter leaned toward Sirius. "You know, I would take the most Muggle- ish Muggle I could find, if I were you, Padfoot. It's 'the' way to piss your parents off, you know."  
  
"No," she heard Sirius reply back in a whisper. "They'll be pissed at me if I take Narcissa. They want her to turn out perfect. They know 'I' will never be anywhere 'near' perfect - to them, at least - so, if I marry her, it'll be killing two thestrals with one stone."  
  
Potter flashed him a grin. "Padfoot, that half a brain up there actually functions - sometimes."  
  
Narcissa stopped watching the two from the corner of her eyes, turning back to her Potions assignment. But it was impossible to do anything with her five-hundred word essay on why it should be legal to use kelpie eyes in Vanishing Potions, not with Sirius and Potter talking about her behind her back - literally. So, she quickly scrawled something down, probably very incoherent, and brought if up to Professor Dillard.  
  
"Erm - Professor?" she said, raising her eyebrows at the young man staring vacantly off into space.  
  
No response.  
  
"Professor?"  
  
Still no answer.  
  
"PROFESSOR!"  
  
"Oh - oh, sorry. Very sorry, Miss, er, Black." Professor Dillard's eyes were bloodshot. He was an odd person.  
  
Narcissa stared. "Er - here is my - er - essay, sir."  
  
Dillard took it, placing it in a tray on his desk labeled: "FIRST YEAR HUFFLEPUFF".  
  
Narcissa did not say anything. He'd figure it out in time. She went back to her seat, took out a piece of parchment, and began doodling, pondering the mysteries of the oddball called professor.  
  
Damias Dillard was a twenty-something-year-old professor of Potions, who had been teaching for the past six or seven years. The poor bloke had come to Hogwarts to teach the same year Potter, Sirius, Lupin, and Pettigrew had come to learn. He had yelled constantly at the foursome for the first two years, but in their third - he spaced out and paid no attention to anyone or anything. It was something everyone blamed on the insanity of the four Gryffindors.  
  
Within twenty minutes, Potions with the unstoppably trying "Marauders" (as they called themselves) was over, and Narcissa could escape to the quiet domain of her dormitory. But, she found she was stalled...  
  
Laken Poff.  
  
He was a sixth year Slytherin, like herself, but he was way out of her league. How he had ended up in Slytherin was beyond anyone's wildest dreams. He was tall, light-skinned with dark hair and bright blue eyes. He was not thin, but he wasn't overweight, either - he had the husky quality most beaters had. His nature was over-all very good, and had a high tolerance for Muggles, unlike most of Slytherin House. From what Narcissa could tell, he didn't like people like herself: coming from yuppie wizarding families with zero liberalism for Mudbloods.  
  
Just seeing Laken made her stop dead in her tracks, staring at him. He, as always, was being trailed by a throng of girls and guys alike; both pining for his attention. Narcissa stood there, watching him as he walked by, talking animatedly to an unknown seventh year Gryffindor. Keeping her attention focused on Laken, she continued her walk to Slytherin common room, when -  
  
"OOF!"  
  
"Ugh! Watch where you're going!"  
  
"Sorry, sorry," said an embarrassed person from the floor.  
  
The embarrassed person jumped to his feet immediately, his cheeks flushed.  
  
"Lupin. Should've known you wouldn't be watching where you were going. You're Lupin. Why are you alone? It's ten o'clock at night. Shouldn't you be with my dear cousin?"  
  
Lupin's cheeks grew from red to a deep, deep crimson. "Oh - e r- that - I - no, I'm a prefect - I - duties."  
  
Narcissa raised her eyebrows, but didn't say anything.  
  
"Yeah, well, best be -uhh - going."  
  
"Er-yeah..."  
  
And Lupin turned and went. But he didn't go anywhere a sixth year Gryffindor prefect would go at this hour - he went outside. 


	2. Visitors

            A/N: I forgot to mention something in my last chapter.  Umm… Lucius Malfoy is five years older than Remus & co., but, shh, we'll just pretend, okay? :)

            Disclaimer: I am J.K. Rowling.   I own Harry Potter.  I will sue anyone who dares to write fanfictions and claim they are me.  Do you believe that? If not, then don't slap a lawsuit on me, okay? Thank you.

Narcissa followed Lupin outside with her eyes, wondering where he would be going this late—at _this_ hour, no less.  Quietly, she tiptoed after him.  The air outside had a faint breeze about it, and was chilling her by the second.

            She looked for someone he should be meeting, or a reason he would be outdoors on this particular October night.  To the right was the lake.  Nothing.  Straight ahead was the gates and Forbidden Forest.  Nothing.  To the left, where he had gone, was the lake and Whomping Willow.  Nothing there, either.  Except…

            "Who's that with him?" she asked herself aloud, sneaking around the side of the castle, watching in the pale light of the full moon through the dark clouds.

            She tiptoed closer, wondering who the second figure was, walking just ahead of him.  The person, whoever they were, was round, short, had long hair, assuring her it was not Pettigrew.  Careful to stay in the shadows, she crept along after Lupin and the mysterious person.  Her heart swelled with pride: she was doing something against the rules.  At night.  She had done things against the rules, but, not wanting to lower her status to that of Sirius and his clique, she kept pillaging to a minimum.

            "Looking for something, cousin?" came a voice from behind her.

            Her heart felt like it had jumped to the ground.  "Sirius Black!" she screeched breathlessly, her chest pounding wildly.  "_What are you doing here_?" she said bossily.

            "Well, Narcissa, you know that I'm alone, so d'you think we could—" Sirius started, smirking.

            She glowered at him.  "No.  No, no, no.  Go _away_, you prat!"

            "Why?  So you can follow Remus some more?" Sirius laughed.

            "Why are you out here?" she asked, not wanting to answer her cousin's question.

            "That," he said sharply, now looking her sternly in the eyes, "is none of your business.  Get back in before you're in trouble."

            Narcissa injected no more queries in their conversation.  Instead, she turned on heel and stocked off, discounting Sirius's grin of feat.

Narcissa returned to Slytherin common room, surprisingly unnoticed by anyone.  She did not want to go to bed, not this early, not with so much on her mind.  So she plopped down in one of the poufs in the corner, away from all the other Slytherins.

            "Alone, Miss Black?" said a silky voice behind her seat.

            "Leave me alone, Lucius," she mumbled, turning away.

            "Whatever for, my dear?  I know you didn't come straight from Potions to the common room.  You went outside."  A smirk crept onto his naturally pallid face, his dark black eyes glinting with something of malice.

            "I wasn't feeling well," she shot back.  "I needed fresh air."

            Lucius raised his blonde eyebrows.  "Right, then," he said, turning and walking back to Charles Nott and Heath Crabbe.

            Narcissa frowned at his retreating back.  He knew she had followed Lupin, and he wanted her.  He would blackmail her into dating him, if she was not careful.  Lucius Malfoy would go to any lengths to get what he wanted.  She could not let him have her.  _Would _not.  She would tell Sirius that she was following his friend before Lucius could get the chance to.

            She got up to leave, to go to bed, to think, to do something.  But, for the third time that night, someone impeded her.

            "I saw you with Remus today," said Laken Poff, stepping in front of her.

            "Uh—oh," she said, her palms already beginning to sweat as she balled them up into fists.

            "Why were you with him?"  Laken persisted, giving her a disdainful look.

            "I—uh—I dunno," she said truthfully.  "I just—uh—bumped into him."

            "Can't you see where you're going?" he inquired, still glowering at her.

            "Uh—yeah."  She was getting more and more nervous with each syllable Laken uttered.

            "He doesn't need you bumping into him, you know, his mother's ill.  He's just gone to see her.  The least you could do is move out of his way!"

            Narcissa knew that Laken and Lupin were friends to a certain extent, but she did not understand why he cared so much that she had knocked him over.  But she was not _about_ to tell him just why she had not been able to see where she was going.

            "Um—sorry…" she muttered timidly.

            Laken gave her a look that clearly said "you'd better be," and stormed off.  Narcissa stared after him, wondering what, exactly, she saw in someone like him.

            Frowning, Narcissa was now positive bed was the best place to be.  Especially after a night like this.

Waking in the middle of the night to see Severus Snape standing over you is not the most relaxing way to come around.  At all.

            "Hello, Narcissa."

            "Wha'?  Wha' tha bloody hell are you doin' here?" Narcissa slurred sleepily.  "How didja git here?"

            "Well, there are certain charms one can place to open the girl's dormitory, you know," said Severus, holding his wand out and looking at it.

            "Right," she replied, pulling the covers up around her so that all that was exposed of her was her chin up.

            Severus raised his eyebrows at Narcissa.  "Are you not getting out of bed?"

            "Not with you hovering over me, I'm not!" Narcissa retorted in a loud whisper, now fully awake.

            "Oh?  And why is that?  I am not going to hex you…"

            "Really?"  she growled irritably.

            "Yes.  If you were close to Black—Sirius—I would have no problem hexing you, though, rest assured.  However, your beloved, Lucius Malfoy, bears a closer relationship with me than your cousin…"

            "_Lucius Malfoy is **not** my beloved_," she hissed, giving Severus a death glare.

            "All in good time," he muttered, looking towards the door.  "Are you coming?"

            "Where?  What the bloody hell are you talking about?  Where are we going?"

            "Just get out of bed, and we'll see."

A/N: Oh, fun! Please review! :)


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